Recipe for a...Dinner Party

Preparation Time: 160 Minutes  |  Cook Time: 160 Seconds

The Apartment

1      Graham, boyfriend, clean cut

1      Rosemary, Girlfriend, new age traditional

4     7:30 Dinner Invitations for this Friday

3      RSVP'd guests, work colleagues of boyfriend in assorted flavors

3      Bottles of Wine

5 6           Meals to serve

The Sauce

1      secret

2      realizations

4½       spilled tears

    Before preparation, have Graham remind Rosemary that this dinner party is very important for his career.

    Have Rosemary ask what decade it is that his career rode on her homemaking skills.

    Set a timer for guest arrival in one hour while dinner is prepared. Opt for a simple, yet exciting meal like braised chicken quarters with mashed redskin potatoes and green peas.

    Graham must be prepared with proper dress pants and a beard trim. He will change his dress shirt from a blue one to a white one at Rosemary's request. This is good.

    While dinner is finishing up in the oven, Rosemary should change into her outfit for the evening. Don't forget to add the diamond earrings Graham bought her as a bribe to move to this town.

    Graham’s three colleagues should show up at the same time. If they don't, the last will show up shortly after the first bottle of wine is opened. Add wine to their glasses to begin the evening.

    Slowly begin incorporation of conversation between Graham, Rosemary, and the work colleagues, adding more wine for flavor. When there is a knock at the door, have Graham answer it.

    There will be another colleague, Colby, on the other side of the door. He did not RSVP but allow him into the mix anyway.

    Rosemary will invite the colleagues to the dinner table for their meal. Upon seeing Colby, she will blanch.

    Excuse Rosemary from the dinner party and bring her to a rolling boil inside the safety of a bathroom. When breathing exercises are completed and makeup is fixed, remove Rosemary from the bathroom, careful–the shock of seeing Colby may still shatter her.

    Graham will question Rosemary to see how she’s feeling. Leave that be, and turn attention to separating chicken legs for each of the colleagues. Graham will mention the bread and butter has not been set out. Rosemary will leave once again for those and another bottle of wine.

    Colby will excuse himself from the table and slip to the bathroom. Rosemary will run into him. Have Colby tell her, "I'm sorry, I had no idea who your husband was."

    Rosemary will shake her hands to shut him up and rush back to the party. She will forget the bread but not the butter. In passing each other again, Rosemary will ask Colby, "Who shows up without RSVPing?"

    Build a good energy around the table as guests begin to dig into their servings.

    Have Colby mention how “it's kind of warm in here.” Roll his sleeves up at cuff width. Repeat until the left cuff is high enough to reveal a crescent moon tattoo.

    Return gulp of wine from Rosemary's mouth to her glass when she catches sight of the tattoo. Quickly tip the wine glass over so that it spills on her dress. Pierce Graham's anecdote about the office to mention how clumsy she is. Excuse Rosemary to the bedroom to change into a long-sleeved dress.

    Surround the table with sounds of food happily being chewed and of silverware–the top shelf kind only used for these occasions–scraping together in delight. Rosemary will take this as a sign that things will go as Graham had wanted them to. Scrape up a question about how a work related project was going.

    Avert Rosemary's eye contact any time Colby speaks. Slip more wine into everybody's glass. At this point, meal size will be reduced to about half on everybody's plates. Remind everybody that there is more where that came from.

    Reach Colby's arms across the table to get more red skin potatoes. Covertly steam Rosemary’s last nerve for 4-6 seconds as soon as she notices that Colby is putting the tattoo on full display and looking at her while doing so.

    "Oh wow," Graham will whistle. "You have a tattoo of a moon just like Rosemary."

    Colby's eyebrows will rise. "Is that so?" Reduce suspicion by saying he found it a while back in the book of a tattoo artist at North Star Tattoo.

    Skim just enough off the top of Graham's brain to collect a statement: "That's where Rosemary got hers."

    Mince Colby's words very carefully here. "Fancy that."

    Warm Graham’s face–giving special attention to his smile. Pile a forkful of Rosemary’s juicy chicken thighs into his mouth. This will, in turn, return the dinner table to easy conversation. Rosemary's blood will drop in pressure. This is good.

    The table will begin to bubble again with more talk about something work-related. Stuff each guest with their meal so they'll be more willing to stay for a coffee. This is when Graham would sell them on his Big Idea, but, due to changes in guest list, Rosemary may just hurry it all along.

    Lift six dinner plates from the table and have Rosemary walk them to the kitchen sink. Scoop grounds into the coffee maker and consider offering bourbon as an option. Rosemary will hope this night is almost over and things will be fine as she pours only bourbon into her own mug.

    Bring Graham into the kitchen with everybody's silverware in tow. He will start to rinse the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. While doing so, he will thank Rosemary for handling a surprise guest so well.

    Nod her head furiously as means to move the conversation back to Graham's other colleagues. She will leave to see “who wants coffee?”

    Carve out a space for Graham to put a realization into his tender, too positive brain. Fold over Graham's attention to Rosemary when she returns. Sit back while the boiling occurs:

    "Didn't you say you got that tattoo as a match to somebody else's?"

    "I did."

    "You never told me who."

    "Haven’t I?”

    Graham will recall, "A former boyfriend."

    Colby will feel the need to enter the kitchen for that coffee.

    Shake Rosemary's head. She'll swallow hard. "It was a little bit more than that. It was an engagement."

    Graham's eyebrows will rise. At this high point of his investigation, they will not set. "You've been engaged before?"

    "Once. Yes. To him." Rosemary's shoulders will likely sink. That's the least of anybody's concerns.

    "And you never thought to tell me?"

    "I never thought I'd see him again."

    "I feel like that's important to tell your boyfriend."

    "That's where you and I differ."

    "I work with the guy, Rose."

    "I had no idea."

    "Neither did I," Colby said.

    Three colleagues, well-done in their craft, will know the correct social cues to excuse themselves. They will say how well everything was prepared and how much they enjoyed their night, however it will be an early morning.

    Colby will stand up to leave but Graham will hold out a hand out for him to stay.

    "Why didn't the wedding happen?"

    "Graham, I don't think we should–

    "Quiet, Rosemary." Baste Graham with a searing, oily pause. "I want to hear it from Colby."

    Reserve Rosemary to the side while Graham approaches Colby to ask, "Why didn't the wedding happen?"

    Colby will shake his head. "Whatever Rosemary told you is the truth."

    "Rosemary also said you were just a boyfriend," Graham will say to poke holes in the story. "She said you ended amicably."

    "Begrudgingly so, yes."

    "What do you mean by that?" Graham will press.

    "It's been two years since we last spoke, I can't rem–"

    "Two years?" Graham’s volume will double.

    "Graham," Rosemary will slip into the discussion. "It's not what you think."

The gaze Graham will sear into Colby is normal, but no less shocking to experience. "Rosemary and I had been dating for three years before getting married. Two years ago."

    "Graham I–"

    "Is that where you went before our wedding?"

    Scatter any back-up plan Rosemary had by having her wilt over the dining chair and say: "I just needed closure."

    "For what?" Graham boiled over.

    "It was to return a gift. I wanted to make sure that the box, a symbol of our past, was not an obstacle with my future with you. But he insisted that I kept it."

    "Because it was a gift.” Colby will explain. “It was only ever a gesture of good will.”

But a concern will toast up in Graham’s quickly frying mind. "What does the box look like?"

    "A two-toned wooden box with dovetail joints."

    Graham will notice Rosemary wince. He will also roll to the bedroom to get the very box Colby just described. The very box that Rosemary used to hold her most heartfelt trinkets.

    No logic will be spread, sprinkled, or spooned over Graham's mind before he upends the box and dumps the contents as he walks to the fireplace, finally tossing the box into the roaring fire.

    "Graham–!" Rosemary will shriek. Neighbors will likely pound on the floor. This will not knock down the bubbled over emotions.

    The final step, all anyone can do from here, is to watch the box char and crumble.

Yields: Remnants of a past and present love life. No career advancement for Graham. A new lease on Oak Boulevard for Rosemary…and Colby.